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• Lindsey
• Professional Development Assistant
• Financing Fiancee
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For Love or Money

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As a new member of the married club, my husband and I had the obligatory conversation about our spending habits, budgeting and credit history. Needless to say, it quickly became a subject of tension and frustration, but it was also very liberating. It opened up the lines of communication concerning finances, forced us to evaluate our individual spending practices, and forced us to develop a spending plan as a couple. If there was only one thing I could change, it would be that we had tackled this issue sooner; it would have made the “your money is our money and my money is my money” transition a little easier (just kidding). But really—it would have saved us a lot of trouble after the wedding.

So if you’re newly married, engaged, or seriously committed, it’s a great idea to vocalize each other’s financial expectations and responsibilities. This is an opportunity to improve your relationship by understanding your significant other’s perspective and collaborating to find what works best for you as a couple. Just because you married each other (or plan to) doesn’t mean you have to marry accounts, but it is important that there is agreement on how you both spend money as you work towards financial goals together. What are some things you can do?

1. Disclose individual debt: Knowing each other’s credit situation will reveal individual spending behavior and influence the budgeting process. It may forecast future financial decisions both individually and as a couple.

2. Create a budget and spending plan together: We proportioned our income so it would be equal and easy to budget for bills, saving, and individual spending. We did opt for the joint account, but still have individual accounts for discretionary spending and saving.

3. Revisit your spending plan monthly. Make sure you’re on track and make revisions if necessary.

4. Take turns: I know most couples have the one person who takes care of all the bills, but try switching that responsibility once in awhile. That way, both parties are aware of how important the budgeting task is.

5. Maintain open communication: touch base with your better half and make sure they know what has been paid and what may be available to spend.

The most important thing is not to let money be the defining factor in your relationships. Other tips can be found at here and here.

What are your thoughts about relationships and money?